New Year Reflections

Happy 2020! 

What's up reader! Can you believe that we are in 2020? It's unreal. So much has already happened and we are like a month and a few days in. On my end, I finished school and got my degree! If you didn't know, I was working on (and finished) my Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. And I am so glad I completed that part of my journey. But lately, it feels as though the hard part is just beginning. The idea of having to be a non-student adult is a tad scary. Because I want to so desperately be in the purpose that God has for my life. I want to help people with my education, I also want to make a decent living. But like my mother and grandmother tell me, "how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." The hard part about that quote is figuring out where do you start? An elephant is HUGE! Do you start at the legs? The Ears? The Trunk?  🙇Welcome to the complicatedness of my mind. This is where I am right now. I am figuring out where to start on a journey that seems very daunting. I have an idea of what I believe I need to be doing and what my life journey will consist of but a couple things I believe are hindering me and maybe many of us from starting.

1. Fear

The internal work required to admit that you're scared is a lot. My education really helped me with this because we were encouraged All.The.Time to be self-aware. Assignments asking us to reflect on who we are, why we believe what we do, what have we been through, and how we see the world. So, fear can be paralyzing. (physiologically, it's a natural response. aka: the freeze response). Next Reason.

2. Lack of Direction

So, earlier I was talking about having ideas of what I think my life will be and the things that I believe I am supposed to be working on,  etc. The hard part about that right now is the idea of not having an exact blueprint of the direction I'm going in. For me, it's hard to just start. I'm looking at all aspects and every angle that I can to make sure I can potentially account for all the ducks before we start walking. But as I have reflected and looked back, there are a lot of things that I have not done just because the idea got lost in translation. My mind feels like a labyrinth sometimes.... blegh. 

Overall, these are some revelations that I've had thus far in 2020 and are building blocks for the things I will be working on this year to continue my self-improvement journey past the classroom. 

Thanks for reading :)